so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
