so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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