are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
