I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
