Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
