someone get that fucking seahorse.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well I just put wine in my tea
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
