So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
