Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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