It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
babies were throwing up all over the place
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
