Why are handjobs necessary in class?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think i got beer on your cat.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
