Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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