You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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