very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I need moral support for this bender
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The Olympian is in my bed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
