I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
