I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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