idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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