are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
