I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
