yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
