I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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