We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
