I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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