The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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