yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
