Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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