Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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