when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
