i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
