If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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