Already got asked if we're dating
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
