Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
