Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
