I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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