Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
