I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
