Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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