Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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