Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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