Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
