It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
