Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
