help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
