I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize