I will die if light touches me.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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