I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
