Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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