Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
