dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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