ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
