On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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