sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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