Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
