recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
