I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
