I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
