he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
