but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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