I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
