just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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