are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
