it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
