Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
