Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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