so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
