Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He passed out mid-signature
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
