Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
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