i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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